blue funk#1

person sitting on rock on body of water

Photo by Keegan Houser on Pexels.com

 

Recently, I’ve been spending so much time watching the view from afar. From where I sat, everything looked right in place. Time moves slowly when I stare outside from a glass window. The weather hasn’t been good lately. I heard typhoons come and go in some parts of my country, and so I get the same sky almost every day. I looked outside, past the new buildings to the sea covered by the inseparable clouds. I think I have become obsessed with the clouds. It almost always blocks my view of the other side. But why am I so concerned of this other side? Have I become so discontent of my place that I want to escape from it? Perhaps, the other side can have that answer? I seem to have full of doubts. And I wonder if I have spent my time on unnecessary things. What has become of my vision? I guess it shows me the wrong distance. My eyes can see from my house to a neighbor’s greengrocer’s. And yet, I still wonder if I have stretched it enough or overstretched it already, what must I do? Everything in my sight becomes seemingly monochromatic… if one is the artist where should she look for this inspiration? In this story, where is that place? I guess I have gradually taken this dark character. I do not see anything at all. Beauty has fled, gone, enclosed somewhere I couldn’t open. I have become obsessed with the birds and the rock. Everything transforms into clouds, birds and the rock. Oh, I could not have been more creative if not frustrating. I have cut my hair the shortest. I feel I can do something bad in this body. I looked for something to break and I found my hair, and yet I asked if there were still some things I could tear or break. I do not like to stare the abyss I know it’s pulling me in, but this path has led me to it. I wonder just when did this void grow this big?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s