down that road

“No. Let us not go down that road.” 
A road where we can’t even hold hands…
Or sleep on a make shift bed when the night blankets the world around us
Let’s keep our hands clasp together
Keep it air-tight fresh like the morning dew
6 years passed, we let it flow but to narrow streams not oceans
No. Let us not remember the road
Where there was just you and materialism
Or me and sensitivity
Love, the reason I wanted to die-
was when dead fish resurfaced; floating away by the wharf on our wedding anniversary
They wash away the memories of our love story and replace them with pieces of fear and helplessness
Drawing the ocean tides fiercely, eating away the shoreline. Like us we drifted apart after devouring each other; afraid that one might overwhelm the other and disappear
The reason I wanted to die was when I remembered you weren’t there when the storm left my body naked
And I was exposed to the snakes that danced around the moon. Yes. There was beauty. But the fear has never left me even though the air was covered with live music and perpetual calmness. And yes, maybe I needed you to be with me.
We grew this big. Tall and smart. But we were each other’s chain, unable to move forward or grow together. Oh but love, let us not be in that road again where there were hands-slipping and hopes waning. A road where you told me, “Let go.”

Love, oh let us not pick on my past as we go to this road where the jasmine trees blossomed. Can I become the soil that filters nutrients for your roots serving you while looking up to the changing foliage?
Sunbeams, bikes folded on the corner, a woman resting on the beach front looking over the cliff, burnt stoves, abandoned house slippers, my heart can’t handle the spasms everywhere

I know..I know love, that it was time to change. That tomorrow will bring forth a bright new day but what if it brings forth days of rain with thunder, will my heart be able to hear what your soul wants to say?
It might be that the reason for the tears was being unsatisfied. Love! I want to be satisfied.

Human relationships are hard to tie together. I am not good at sewing beads or sequence putting or hiding the rough hems against the on-lookers. I saw your bracelet got undone and felt bad not fixing it

The reason why I thought I’d die love, I was alone when a boy told me I wasn’t ugly when the world molded me a certain way. I needed to learn your warmth but instead I got scolded or told off by a stranger

Love let’s not go down that road, last night I learned to bend my knees to pray for the way I lived my life among others but had to be filled with loneliness alone.

Love but I fell in love with a world where the road could lead to discovering pretzels and wheels turning, where people like you were born, and seagulls incessantly squawking.