The hands I thought I’ve held

We’ve been together for so many years. 

 

No one can say they’ve known you so well; eyes close.  The years spent together don’t guarantee you a full life. Those times may have just been as a roommate, an acquaintance, neighbors in the guise of friends or family. How fleeting time can be. You may be together and yet still feel lonely. We feel comforted by being around everyone and at the same time, feel so alone, confused by the numerous emotions all felt at once. 

I resent it.

People say, we all experience hardship and pain. You are not the only one. You are with everyone, you should be happy. We are just the same. 

Often, I wonder why others would say I’m too cold. Too closed off. Too untouchable, don’t they already know the one answer? 

If we are all the same paddling in the same boat, chasing the sunrise, why would any one be so entitled to make me feel what’s obvious? Why would any one who says they care would be greatly ignoring my feelings? 

Pain and hardships are immeasurable. So why would people keep saying they’ve understood how I felt when not even once they have tried to show they truly care.

We say what we don’t mean to mean what we want to say. 

 

We are only acting. Actors just making their entrance or just having their exits.

 

 

But we don’t really care. We don’t really know.

 

 

What do we know?                             What do we care?