Love letter # 5

Dearest,

I brought a bottle of wine to the second floor. I have a full view of the moon in the balcony.

I sat on the floor leaning on the side of the column. My soul traveled once more.

I want to get drunk but is also afraid of it. I want to be drunk to sink deeply into oblivion with my sorrow and pain but is also afraid of my messy self to be seen.

I know. I know what you’re thinking. You would tell me not to hide. I know.

I’m afraid to leave myself vulnerable because because I know people wouldn’t be accepting of it.

The moon is beautiful. I admire it so much. Because it can be vulnerable yet still look beautiful to those who are watching.

I want to be drunk silently so I went up to the second floor alone. I like it here. Because it allows my mind to travel deep into my subconscious.

I wish to have one of those drinking buddies as well. When all you can do is drink alcohol and be blue.

For now let me hide by myself and consider all the wishes are said and done.

I suppose I brought a bottle of wine for nothing on the second floor. I still couldn’t take a sip of it. Afraid to see my messy self like one of those I’ve seen and known. I might completely jump off and give in to my subconscious desires.

So I’m sitting here leaning on the side of the column in my balcony together with that bottle of wine on the floor. What a great company.

ah…

Let’s save it for later.