I love you.
But
You love who?
All about him
“Are you okay?”
“Are you okay?”
I want to ask.
Ten letters to type,
It only takes three words forward,
a question mark and a quotation mark
one by one,
I delete them backwards.
“
y
a
k
o
u
o
y
e
r
A
?
“
This is how worried I am about you.
in my subconscious
In my subconscious
Searched to equilibrate water in my head
To know if we cared enough
Hazy images appeared in the shadows
It seemed a mascara, black liquid eyeliner, face foundation, white teeth,
Pointed shoes, maybe sneakers, a dark horse,
A Parisian chick, a scythe, a dark red coffin, a wolf, a snake
tu es l'amour de ma vie
This gale-force wind like dream
I would still love it
If only—
To wake up next to you
Arms locked one morning
To meet your sleepy eyes and kiss your warm coveted lips.
Regret
How easy it is to push a button,
how easy it is to cause some waves,
easy to make noise in silence
easy to frost in the snow
to want someone
to be a couple but not really
but with one blow of a secret–
everything, everything simply
becomes flat.
…
Out there
Out there I looked for warmth
A blanket, a mattress, a cushion to lie on
But more importantly,
For his heated skin, fiery eyes and soft whispers
I’d like to leave an impression
Out there I looked to reaffirm
What I felt on the inside
It seemed the coals were burning velvety
His skin was a mat, a not so typical mat—
On the floor a contrast of the cold
A lure to the bold
To lick, to taste, to accentuate
the truth forgotten;
a knowledge to behold
Fire ablaze constantly
It stopped the sound of an old harp strummed by the wind
The evening stalked for branches of the moon to cloak the earth
Dim life for a dab of light
This fire brought by two huddling pawns squeaking discreetly—
Out there; away from the ordinary
Home was a distortion of raindrops on air
rain dropped to smash the earth with aggression
As it pulverized my desire to perfection
And ‘home’ became a boundless pool of trepidation
Out there I found a man
Who filled my cup with tiny leaves of grass
and on the field, we rested our backs to dream a moment to last
to dream the moment to last..
My heart
‘Love never left me.’
But—
the actor did
And the salesman did
And the singer did
And the OIC did
Then the liar did
So did the puppeteer
The assassin said
That THEY just did what they did,
a PAST, indeed!
‘Love never left me.’
stubborn
I told you to come and see me, didn’t you hear?
I had chips, a bunsen burner and a black quill.
Didn’t you even know?
Must I be repetitive?
Somehow, I guessed it so.
a game on the b-e-d
Thrust me with the music you sing
The phantom that lives up in the air
Beat me with so much pain
The pain of dancing under the rain
Disintegrate me with your natural scent
my vein is aching, it wants some passion
from your skin.
Just shove me with intense groaning
I like the sound of the buzzer.
I say, the statement is
But
I don’t say WHO?
Should we invite a referee?
during a game on the b_d?
Press the buzzer… buzz…buzz…buzz..
Those lips, they do linger
that face that shivers whether to take on a radiant smile or just to tear it down
I seem foolish but I can’t help giggle inside my core.
preventing me from moving on
everything is resurrected and I thought now is here–
your mouth that snows
is filled with mint and clover
these eyes that meet your lips
write so much breath to breath
do your eyes see the whole kaboom?
What the lips rejoice in times of trouble?
From the coldest whites to kisses so high
Generally, there’s more desire than there’s to say
From beneath your clothes to my warmest bosom
If there’s a way to pacify it or
Perhaps a way to let it be unnoticed;
When suddenly that heart is filmed in your eyes
And your eyes let out the view of the magical—
I’m at a state of pause.
Darling, this heartache that speaks without words
Such a wake up call for you;
I’d like to shake those inexcusable lips
Wreck them all with the purest dew
Until,
That body can no longer hold
Those lips, they do linger with a smile so gentle.
that face that shivers whether to take on a radiant smile or just tear it down
I seem foolish but I can’t help giggle inside my core.
preventing me from moving on
everything is resurrected and I thought now is here.
To a particular man I know little
…and in the corner I found him silent
head low, slouched, exhausted
a lot of things can be said about him
yet he was silent like a fetus in a woman’s womb
he is a man—
a man without a story
in a book left in my closet–
such a mystery filled only with
dots and dashes
But who’s to say–
from all the rumors
his heart is lost—
Lost to a tribe of the inner persona;
familiar to none.
But he loves and does love hard;
a beauty concealed by a mechanism
he called defense.
‘they’ say we need more than just thoroughfares
his body can try to be out going but truly, a contrast of what’s inside his soul.
But I have his name
his number,
his poems,
his faces,
games,
often I get brain freeze–
how interesting I only have these; little to nothing at all–
and I call him unpredictable.
His wind storms, it’s never calm
it cuts off trees and breaks glass windows
cos pain leaves him an element of blank_________.
Oh yes he does love and love so hard
or rather before his mind denies his heart.
His heart
is a silk woven myriads of wonderful stories
his eyes are the kindest behind all his frozen secrets
He is a fine man with such wildness in his bones
so beautiful, beautiful only if it is known.
To a particular man I know little
His hand is warm.
his aura a demon, people run for the hills–
He is a factory of oddity,
his heart a mayonnaise of unspoken words at the mere touch of cold philosophy—
To which, I often err his sadness for coldness and I clip his Angel wings.
rural to urban,
to a painter’s house or just beach bumming
his lips are dyed of the colors of the landscape
..and his mind in awe of eccentricity
His life a fold of folded folds
searching for a space to rest as his home
women are illusions; children are provisions
he searches the nooks and the alleys oh but,
steps back not to see something
such a hassel-free, if only–
to find whom he intends to be
yet
the one thing he seeks and shall ever find—
is the thing he puts aside.
A composite of me and the universe 