Her: will I write? (A Million Kisses Deep)

Maybe it would take another Odette to bring in violent winds
To get you back.
Maybe I need one more super typhoon like Yolanda
To make the tables turn and send things flying away.
An unexpected lights out
Or a sudden loss of internet signal
To put a stop on some important things
To turn things back around.

How cruel of me to wish for something virulent.
All to just be near you; to get close to you.

(sigh)

In retrospect, what used to be something of significance before has now become insignificant.
Indeed, you’ll never know where the wind would blow until change would finally become noticeable.
Hard to get around it, hard to get by.
And It scares the daylights out of me.
My worries are only amplified.

Well I guess this is where the illusion ends. The tower moments.

To be honest, it’s sad how toilsome the process of ending certain cycles in life is.
To desire for God to move his finger and make signs and new miracles,
To pray for God’s favor,
To aid us in our predicament.

Still we go about this journey silently. Painstakingly. In our own way.
Not knowing whether we’d end up to be a lesson or a blessing to someone’s life.

It’s just I felt that I lost you for good.
Not sure when, how or why.
And it’s frustrating to even wish for these super typhoons in the summer; highly impossible,
when you don’t know if this is something we can fix or make amends by all apologies.
It’s a dead weight.

But I believe I’ve opened my own can of worms.
And I’m here to come face to face with every single one of them—
My fears.

I know there’s no amount of any shake up
Or awakening to get you to come back to me
For you are already set on a new journey.

It grieves me to realize how malleable human emotions are.
How fragile one can get after being knocked down.
How fickle minded we are to actually believe that everyone can leave us except for that one special person who we expect to stay with us forever.
I think a lot.
Only to end up getting betrayed by my own thoughts.
It hurts.

I know that loving you feels more like a Tom and Jerry show.
Where I, the impulsive and silly Tom Cat, would always chase after you,
Always be the first to create troubles or strife and cries foul when it backfires like a tragedian actor.

And You, Jerry Mouse who’s the silent type, the smart-ass, kick-ass Boss—
Always in a tuxedo who makes my life extra memorable and sunny; you being the Strategist.
Out of nowhere, you’d come up with a game plan and boy, you are crazy as can be!
Someone who gets me floored, knocks me out or burns me down. Effortlessly.

You know, a certain kind of a love story that’s way beyond human understanding.
One that’s full of explosions,
Some notable silent screams,
With exaggerated facial expressions,
Action filled,
Fun, exciting and unpredictable.

A certain kind of romance you wouldn’t even want to miss.

Anyway that’s beside the point.

Seriously.
.
.
.
.

Can you forgive me?
Can we make and build up?
Can we bring this to a million kisses deep?

These are questions.
However in case you wouldn’t like answering questions, let me rephrase them.

I am wrong to a fault.
Let’s start over.
Let’s be together forever.